The Overuse of Speech Tags Other than "Said"

One of my pet peeves is when writers go out of their way to find a speech tag other than *said*. Apart from being distracting at times, it can slow the pace of your story and it can be likened to *telling rather than showing* (so *telling* with your speech tags rather than *showing* with your dialogue or action tags. Yes, it’s true that there are some very well-known and well-loved authors use varying speech tags a lot and sell many books, but those authors have been published a long time. For the beginning author, it’s better to try to play by the rules to some extent.

There are correct speech tags and incorrect speech tags. The following are common and can be used because they make sense in the correct context: said, asked, murmured, retorted, replied, continued

Strictly speaking, the following verbs are incorrect when used as speech tags: smiled, laughed, pouted, grinned, grimaced

Wrong: “I love you, too,” he smiled.

How can someone *smile* dialogue? Smiling doesn’t involve the voice, just the muscles that crinkle the eyes, pull up the corners of the lips and nose, change the mouth angle, and pull the mouth corners sideways. A person cannot smile and speak at the same time (unless he’s a ventriloquist).

Right: “I love you, too.” He smiled.

Wrong: “I knew I could fool you,” she laughed.

People cannot *laugh* dialogue. Try it. People can laugh while speaking dialogue, but cannot laugh a whole sentence.

Right:  “I knew I could fool you.” She laughed.

Wrong: “You promised,” she pouted.

Pouting involves closing or pursing your mouth. Again, unless she’s a ventriloquist, it’s highly unlikely that your character can pout dialogue.

Right: "You promised.”  She pouted.

Wrong: Grinned is similar to smiled.

Wrong: “That’s disgusting,” he grimaced.

Grimacing is another facial expression, not a way to speak.

Right: “That’s disgusting.” He grimaced.

Most of the time you are better to use *said* because the eye just glides over it without taking it in. Even better, use *said* without too many adverbs because your dialogue should speak for itself. But that’s a whole other blog.

Five Things to Look for When Editing Your Manuscript

 1.      When editing your manuscript, Spelling and Grammar Checker¹ and Find and Replace² are your best friends. The first and most important (and surprisingly easy) step is to run Spell Check. Granted, it’s not a perfect piece of software and may want to make changes that you know are incorrect, but be forgiving because it can find typos and flag up problems with grammar as well. You can choose to change to what is suggested or keep your words as they were.

2.      A homonym is a word that sounds the same as another but has a different meaning. Check your manuscript for the correct homonym. e.g. to, too, two; your, you’re; where, we’re, wear; there, their, they’re; it’s and its (a very common mistake: Often an apostrophe is used to show possession, but in the case of the pronoun *it* an apostrophe is not used. *Its* is a pronoun used to show possession or ownership and therefore referred to as a *possessive pronoun*.*It's* is a contraction of *it is* (or *it has* when *has* is not the primary verb³) The apostrophe takes the place of the letter *i* in is.) Use the Find² function to make sure you’ve used the correct word.

3.      Have you made your characters three-dimensional? Have you given your characters a personality, good qualities and flaws (to make them seem human), a unique voice? Try to give each protagonist some exclusive character or speech pattern. I’ve judged entries that were wonderfully constructed, but the heroine and hero sounded very much alike not only in their speech but in their internal thoughts. Make each character distinctive and let them use different expressions.  

4.      Have you varied the pace of the story? Long sentences tend to slow the pace. Short, sharp sentences pick up the pace. Make sure you vary the sentence structure, and limit the overuse of too many long sentences as this can slow down your story.

5.      Do we see what the point of view character sees and feel what the point of view character feels? Do we laugh and cry right along with them? Do your central characters have motivations and emotions that develop through the story? And finally, have all the loose ends been tied up neatly with a bow so that when the reader reaches that final page, she smiles in contentment with the ending (in a romance), or at least doesn’t feel cheated by lack of information that leads to the murderer (e.g. a character who is brought into the story in the last few pages of a suspense thriller). Make sure the information is all there, though preferably trickled through the story as it develops rather than an information dump in the beginning.  

¹ In Word, “Spelling and Grammar Checker” is the ABCü button in the toolbar at the top or press *F7*.

² In Word, to “Find” press *Control F* and for *Find and Replace* and *F5* or *Control H*. Or you can use the Edit tab in the top toolbar and scroll down.

³ Visit my blog on this topic: http://bit.ly/zWa3yL 

Welcome to My Guest Author: Tracy Sumner

Today I welcome Author Tracy Sumner to my blog!  Tracy has an ebook of her award winning novel to give away & a kindle to two lucky readers.

So over to  Tracy....

Hello everyone! I’m thrilled to be a guest author posting with Serena Tatti!

This quote really resonates with me – and will introduce our writing craft topic for today!

Don’t tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.
~Anton Chekov

You got it. Show, don’t tell.

What, exactly, do we mean by show, don’t tell?

Telling the reader what to think, instead of showing them enough to generate the “mental picture”.  The glint of light on broken glass.

There are ways to get around telling. Using metaphors and similes is a good one. Instead of saying a character is fat, show them lumbering along the street, breathing heavily as they take the stairs. Show the person through descriptive language.

In fiction, we’re setting scenes that create a world in the reader’s mind. Descriptive language paints the picture.

A tip that helps me is to remember to use the senses. What would the character hear in the scene? Smell? Expressions on his/her face? What is the motivation for the scene that may have them sprinting versus walking?

This is a scene taken from my novel TIDES OF PASSION. What insight does it give you about the hero, Zach Garrett?

Zach closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the chair, remembering. The crash of waves in the distance and the rustle of pine branches in the breeze soothed him. A little. "She was fragile. Like an angel made of glass. The kind they blow until it's so thin you think it'll break if you touch it."

He had often been afraid to touch her, to hug her with even half his strength, but that was far too personal a memory to share.

Combined with great dialogue, you can share so much about a character with a reader. And, yes, we are telling some, too. Of course! But it’s descriptive. And the sound of the ocean in the distance and the hero’s pain in remembering stay with the reader.

In short, we need to provide details for the reader. Show the character complaining, don’t say they’re negative. Show them abusing a waiter or stealing a napkin, instead of saying they’re cheap.

Read more about Tracy Sumner and her books (including lengthy excerpts for all new releases) on www.tracysumner.com

Purchase TIDES OF PASSION: http://www.amazon.com/Tides-Passion-Seaswept-Seduction-ebook/dp/B005WVPFH0

Purchase TIDES OF LOVE: http://www.amazon.com/Tides-Love-Seaswept-Seduction-ebook/dp/B0066B1XTY

Bio:

Tracy’s story telling career began when she picked up a copy of LaVyrle Spencer’s Vows on a college beach trip. A journalism degree and a thousand romance novels later, she decided to try her hand at writing a southern version of the perfect love story. With a great deal of luck and more than a bit of perseverance, she sold her first novel to Kensington Publishing.

 When not writing sensual stories featuring complex characters and lush settings, Tracy can be found reading romance, snowboarding, watching college football and figuring out how she can get to 100 countries before she kicks (which is a more difficult endeavor than it used to be with her four-year-old son in tow). She lives in Charlotte, NC, but after spending a few years in “the city”, considers herself a New Yorker at heart.

 Tracy has been awarded the National Reader’s Choice, the Write Touch and the Beacon – with finalist nominations in the HOLT Medallion, Heart of Romance, Rising Stars and Reader’s Choice. Her books have been translated into German, Dutch, Portuguese and Spanish. She loves hearing from readers about why she tends to pit her hero and heroine against each other and that great novel she simply must order in five seconds on her Kindle.

Ciao!

TIDES OF PASSION, the National Reader’s Choice for Best Long Historical, debuted as an ebook in October 2011. The second novel in the Tides series, TIDES OF LOVE, arrived in November. Tracy’s holiday novella, which begins the new Southern Heat series, TO DESIRE A SCOUNDREL, hit mid-December 2012. Watch for the next Heat novel, TO SEDUCE A ROGUE, in late January.

Tracy would like to give away an eBook copy of TIDES OF PASSION to one lucky reader and a Kindle to one really lucky reader via her website drawing! To enter the eBook drawing, leave a comment on her post at Fiction Vixen; for the Kindle drawing, please sign up for her newsletter at www.tracysumner.com

Welcome to my guest author: Nina Jade Singer

Today I welcome Author Nina Jade Singer to my blog! And she's got a book to give away and an Amazon gift certificate for one lucky reader! So over to Nina....
My Writing Process

Hello everyone, I’m so happy to be here today with Serena (which, by the way, is the name of the heroine in one of my stories). My first book, Secrets of the Knight, was recently released from Crescent Moon Press.

I was chatting with some writer friends the other day and we started talking about all the different ways we write. Not only did I find it fascinating how varied our methods were, I realized I wanted to try some of the things my friends were doing. Then I got to thinking that I wanted to do sort of the same thing in a blog post, just to kind of ‘talk’ to you all about the process that works for me.

So today I’m going to tell you a little about how I get from a story idea to a completed manuscript. I’m hoping you’ll perhaps find bits and pieces that you may want to give a try. And I’d love to hear about your own process if you’d like to comment at the end.

The original idea usually comes to me when I least expect it – something someone says triggers a thought, or I’ll think of a ‘what-if’ scenario. A lot of writers will tell you that they come up with a character first. I have yet to have that happen. With me, it’s the idea or premise that usually comes at the very beginning, typically in the form of a problem or conflict. Then I start to thinking about what type of hero would tackle such an issue. What characteristics would he need? That’s right, I always ‘see’ the hero before the heroine. Once I’ve got a vague impression of the hero (I don’t go too far in depth at this point), this is when I start imagining what the heroine might be like. What kind of woman would attract the hero I’ve come up with? At this point, most of these ideas are still all in my head.

Now comes the harder part:

I start trying to flesh out the story. I place my characters in the setting I’ve decided on. Usually it’s New England, where I live, or some place I’ve visited that’s particularly called to me. I try to come up with about 2 or 3 solid scenes to get story going in my head. Secondary characters start to walk in of their own accord. My primary characters begin to ‘talk’ to me and tell me what they’re like. Once I know more about them as people, I start doing character write-ups. My write-ups usually include everything from eye color to the model car they drive.

Ninety percent of my character details never even make it into the manuscript. But my hero, heroine, and secondary characters start to become real. Then I go back to the plot. And this is where things start to get somewhat difficult for me. My exciting discovery stage is now over. I have to think of ways to keep the excitement going. And the only thing that works for me is to keep the discovery stage going. This is one of the many reasons I can’t bring myself to outline. If I outline, I know what’s going to happen and I won’t want to actually write it. Believe me, I’ve had it happen and it hasn’t been pretty.

Instead, I try to think about the story constantly. Whatever I’m doing in my daily life, I’m still thinking about plot points. As ideas come to me, I try to jot them down as quickly as I can on an index card or notepad. This way, I know what I’m going to write when I sit down at my desk. At this stage, I’m not worrying about pretty words or flowing script. I’m doing what is known as ‘throwing mud at the wall’. Having fun with it. This is merely my exploratory draft. 

The next step is the revision process, which really depends on how much mud has been thrown. This is when I reach for those words that are just right. And of course, there’s all the editing. Some stories take longer than others. Some take more effort. But it’s always the same sense of aaaah when I finally type ‘The End’.

So this is what has worked for me. Maybe I’ll need to try something different a few manuscripts from now. Let me know what works for you!

Nina Jade Singer

Blurb: 

Several years ago life forced Thomas (Bo) Bowden to give up everything, including the woman he loves, and take refuge on a Caribbean island. Little did he know, he was taking the first step to fulfilling his mystical destiny.

Nicole Balian has come to the small island of Trenado to find a missing teenager. She's shocked to the core to find her former lover instead. And the attraction between her and Bo is as strong as ever.

Working together to solve the unexplained disappearances plaguing the island, they find themselves in a frightening world of voodoo and magic. Trenado's history is shrouded in supernatural mystery. The danger they face serves to reignite their love. But as Bo fights an ancient evil that haunts the island, will Nicole be able to save the man she loves? Or will she lose him once again, this time forever?

Buy Link: Amazon

About Nina Jade Singer:

I've always loved stories of the supernatural. With mystery,  suspense, and a good dose of romance.



Nina on the Web:

Website
Facebook
Twitter




One lucky commenter will receive Secrets of The Knight. Followers and commenter’s of the blog tour will go in the grand draw of an Amazon Gift Certificate of US$100.00!


 



For the full itinerary and more chances to win, check the AUTHOR PAGE!

Possession Is Nine-Tenths of the Law: Apostrophes, It’s, and Its

People who speak English as a second language often confuse the use of words that sound similar, and this also commonly occurs in those for whom English is their native language. Sometimes it can be just a matter of having the differences pointed out.  Today I’ll concentrate on apostrophes, and the words its and it’s.

1) Often an apostrophe is used to show possession, but in the case of the pronoun *it* an apostrophe is not used. *Its* is a pronoun used to show possession or ownership and therefore referred to as a *possessive pronoun*.

e.g. My car needs fixing. Its radiator overheated again.

2) *It's* is a contraction of *it is* (or *it has* when *has* is not the primary verb [see below]). The apostrophe takes the place of the letter *i*.

e.g. It’s [it is] cold outside. It’s [it has] been snowing.

When *has* is the primary verb, you cannot use the contraction *it’s* for *it has*.

e.g. *That new movie is boring, even though it has several big name actors* cannot be written *That new movie is boring, even though it’s several big name actors*.

3) An apostrophe doesn't always show possession. None of the possessive pronouns (my, your, his, her, its, our, their, whose) are spelled with an apostrophe.

4) *Apostrophe s* is not used to show plural of everyday words.

e.g. You write one cat, two cats, but not two cat’s.

5)*Apostrophe s* can be used to show the plural of:

a) abbreviations

b) numbers
c) letters

The *apostrophe s* is used where it helps avoid confusion and enables the reader to understand what the writer intended.

a) The term *Personal Computer* is often abbreviated to PC. If you were writing about several personal computers, it could be confusing if you wrote *PCS* or *PCs*, therefore the convention is to write *PC’s* where the reader immediately recognizes the abbreviation for personal computer and realizes the writer is using the *apostrophe s* to make the abbreviation plural.

b) I knew you weren’t born in Australia because you cross your 7’s like they do in Europe.

c) Steve got straight A’s on his report card.

Hopefully this has helped clear up the use of apostrophes in certain cases.

Serena

Welcome to my Guest Author: Kate Walker with Giveaways!

Today I welcome Harlequin Mills & Boon Author Kate Walker to DownUnder! And she's got a signed book for one lucky commenter! So over to Kate....

First I'd like to thank Serena for inviting me here to talk to her friends DownUnder.

For my post today,  I want to take a look at Prologues and Epilogues.

Recently I had a writer email me and ask me whether she should start her book in a certain place, and then jump forward a couple of years to tell the main story, or whether she should start at that point a couple of years later - or should she put the past into a Prologue and then move into the main story.  The problem here is basically, should she write a Prologue – or  start the story in what is the present and refer to the past in flashback. I’m not a great fan of flashbacks – particularly not long ones-  but Prologues- and Epilogues  - need to be used with care.


Some authors love Prologues, some- and I'm usually one of them, will avoid them like the plague. But in a 2007  book of mine (Sicilian Husband, Blackmailed Bride) my editor really wanted a Prologue showing the hero and heroine happy together so that the events of a year later (the ones I had as the starting point of the book as it was ) hit home with more impact.

I'll admit I wasn't keen. I argued, almost dug my heels in, but she persisted with her argument and  then I rethought. And I saw just  what she was trying to get me to achieve with this particular prologue and I realised she was right. I said that I would only write it if I could start both the prologue, and the first chapter, with almost the same words. My editor agreed So I conceded, and wrote the Prologue.    And I'm really glad I did because every time I open that book, I'm very happy with the impact it has and many readers have written to me to tell me how much they love it. But, as a general rule, I

don't really like Prologues. Let me explain why.

The first thing to be sure of with a Prologue is that it's really necessary. Because one of the real problems with a Prologue is that by its very nature it usually involves writing something that delays the start of the 'real' book - the reason why the reader has picked it up in the first place - and that is the development of the romance between your hero and heroine. A romance is a short book and the reader expectation is that it will concentrate - guess what - on the romance story.

Prologues usually set up something that one or other of them is unaware of and so you need to be careful that it doesn't have the reader hanging on, wondering just when the other central character will come in, when this problem will be made clear.

The other problem that I have with prologues is the same as the one I have with too much back story. Obviously if the past has a major effect on the actions and feelings of the characters in the present time, then that needs to be shown - but it doesn't necessarily need to be acted out. It can be explained by one of your characters - bringing in much needed dialogue or you can use (carefully) flashbacks. But again the reason why the reader is reading your book is to see the relationship developing in the present - and how they move on from that past.

I'll be honest and say that when I see the word Prologue - which inevitably means something before the real action of the book starts, then I'm always wondering just why this couldn't be woven into the main story. It can look like the author 'writing themselves in' to the main story which doesn’t take off until the next section. This slows the beginning, delaying the real story -  that story in the present. The past may have affected it, but the true story is what happens now. If you need to ask when you should

start your story then the answer is that yo need to look at where your hero and heroine  are at a point of crisis and a point of change – how they start to move one from there is what matters. How they came to be there  is only part of the past – the mental scenery, the backdrop, not the action of the plot.

Epilogues are slightly different. I completely agree that where. there has been a lot of emotional damage, there is a need to show that the healing has worked. But again I do think it's very important to show a lot of that healing in the actual main body of the book. It's part of the Black Moment/satisfying Happy Ending combination that needs to be there not just to bring you characters together but to show that they have grown and moved on emotionally so that they are ready to overcome the fear, the guilt, the doubts. If there is so much of that that the HEA has to be 'proved' later by showing how they are still together you need to be careful that there hasn't been enough healing in the book itself.

Sometimes I have used an epilogue - for example, when the plot hinged around the death of a baby as a result of Cot Death/SIDS - the reader needs the reassurance that in the future this tragedy did not happen again.

But the epilogues I really dislike are the ones that look like padding - the detailed description of the elaborate wedding/christening/whatever when this feels like padding - bringing the word count up to requirements when that could have been used so much more valuably by adding to the conflict or the resolution of that conflict - something that showed character development rather than embroidered the already happy ending.
Sometimes there is a place in your novel for a prologue, or an epilogue – but all too often then can be an excuse for lazy, careless writing.  

In a romance it is important to ending. Written well, this can all be  done in the main force of the story, without any need for an added opening or ending to explain, flashback, or embroider onto that happy ending. I think that for both an epilogue or a prologue, the question should always be, can I tell this in the main part of the novel without lengthy explanations? And if the answer is yes you can, then your story will be so much  tighter and with more pace if you do. And a tighter, pacier read will please your readers so much more!

Blurb:

Standing high on the windswept moors, the lone figure of Heath Montanha vows vengeance on the woman who destroyed the last fragments of his heart...Lady Katherine Charlton has never forgotten the stablehand with dangerous fists and a troubled heart from her childhood. Now the rebel is back, his powerful anger concealed under a polished and commanding veneer. When ten years of scandal and secrets are unleashed, with a passionate, furious kiss, Heath's deepest, darkest wish crystallises...Revenge - and Kat - will be his!

The Return of the Stranger is available from
http://www.kate-walker.com/
Amazon & Amazon UK

12 Point Guide to Writing Romance is available from

http://www.kate-walker.com/

Amazon & Amazon UK

Where can readers find you?

Website

Blog

Facebook

One lucky commenter will get a signed copy from Kate Walker’s backlist, winner’s choice and all the commenters’ names will go in the grand draw. For more stops on Kate Walker’s celebration tour, please check out the:

Author Page created by Romance Book Paradise Promotions.

Backlist Books:

The Greek Tycoon’s Unwilling Wife
Bedded By The Greek Billionaire
Sicilian Husband, Blackmailed Bride

The Sicilian’s Red-Hot Revenge

The Good Greek Wife?
Kept for Her Baby

The Konstantos Marriage Demand

Cordero’s Forced Bride
Spanish Billionaire, Innocent Wife
The Proud Wife

Finding & Keeping Your Writing Voice

It is said that “finding your writing voice” is part of the journey to success, especially in fiction. We are led to believe that for some people it comes naturally and for others it’s a never ending battle. The truth is we all have our own unique writing voice and it’s there within us all if we dig deep enough and work hard enough.

Often it takes quite a while and a lot of writing before we feel brave enough to show someone else our precious story – the one that has been rattling inside our brain for ages and had to emerge and find its way on to the page (or screen). It is important to get feedback and let others see your work to tell you what works or doesn’t work for them, and perhaps what may or may not work in a particular line or genre. A big mistake often made by beginner writers is to take on board every piece of advice from various critiques, and systematically change everything that is pointed out to them. If several people have commented and suggested the same change, then the writer should seriously consider reviewing that point. But if you, the writer, change large portions of the manuscript as suggested without really thinking it through, then you risk losing your voice, what makes that story uniquely yours.

Some helpful hints:

*Try reading your work aloud. You’ll find that you might stumble over awkward words or phrasing, or long passages that can be condensed. This is a way to strengthen your style and maintain your voice.

*Be yourself and express yourself. Let your writing mirror your inner self. Don’t try to mimic your favourite authors. Find your own true self in your writing.

*Don’t wait for the “right” moment to write. Just like exercise which should be done regularly to be of any benefit, writing needs to be practiced regularly.  

*Think of your writing voice as a chunk of coal - solid carbon. With pressure and outside forces, it becomes a rough rock with promise. Then with practice and polish, it has the potential to be a stunning, sparkling, multi-faceted diamond.

I often tell people who have submitted work to me for editing, “You can fix grammar, punctuation and spelling - they are all easily learned – BUT you can’t fix or learn your voice. This is your individual talent to communicate and bring to life the kernel of an idea and make it compelling reading.”

Serena